There are lots of reasons I like this idea. It's entertaining, for one. I laugh almost every time -- not to mock, but I like hearing some of my deep, dark insecurities articulated by someone else. It makes them lots less threatening if I can laugh. Also, I like knowing that it's not just me (see above). Another reason? I admire someone who is willing to let the world see behind the shine we all try to convince each other of, and, let's be real, you're gonna have to be brave to hashtag (#frf) the fact that you've actually smelled underwear to see if it's clean or not (okay, I made that one up, but, still, if you've got kids...). The reason I dig this idea the most, though, is that I like honesty. I appreciate a person who is who you think they are. I love it when someone will admit to being fallible, grouchy, and slightly crazed at times because that makes them a real human -- someone I can relate to and commiserate with because I, too, am fallible, grouchy and crazy. I trust someone who lives up to their own standards and lives their life genuinely.
This is a trait that is hard to come by. It's tough to admit you're not perfect, and it takes practice to look at who you are without the rose-colored glasses. Because it's hard to be disappointed in yourself. It stinks to know you're capable of letting other people down and that someone is doing THAT thing, that REALLY important thing, better than you can. We all sometimes have difficulty admitting what it is we're really feeling or what we really want, and it's lots easier to let ourselves off the hook with an excuse or avoiding the issue altogether under the veneer of good intentions ("But I didn't want to hurt your feelings!"). Case in point: there is someone in my life whom I love and owe, but who makes me nuts because there is always an ulterior motive in everything they do. It's not purposly vindictive or even meant to cause anyone inconvenience, but it usually does. What this person really wanted or intended to do from the very beginning never comes out until it's too late to change plans. I would much prefer some honesty right up front, even if the conversation went like this:
Me: "Hey, you want to go to dinner?"
Them: "Sure. Where?"
Me: "I want Chinese."
Them: "Are you an idiot? Chinese is terrible! I've heard MSG can give you cancer! I can't believe you would even suggest such a thing -- you're a horrible restaurant-picker. I really want Italian."
Me (because my skin is not so thin as you might believe): "Fine, no Chinese. Geez. Italian is fine."
And we could go out and have a good dinner and I would know I could trust them to be real with me.
Since this is something I aspire to, and since most of you reading this are my friends and (I hope) won't judge me too harshly (If I don't know you, it doesn't really matter if you judge me or not), here are a few of my For Real Friday moments:
#frf I'm a complete clean freak. Like the freakiest of clean freaks. That episode of Friends where Monica can't go to sleep because she left her shoes out on the floor of the living room? That's me.
#frf I'm also a control freak. I think this is where the cleaning comes in. I like feeling like I have a handle on things even when I know the universe is laughing because I really control NOTHING.
#frf I wish I was able to let go of some of the above freakiness because it can get in the way of my relationships with my family.
#frf When I'm alone in my car, I crank up the radio and sing really loud. Sometimes I even dance a little.
#frf I hate taking pictures of my kids at events. Not because I don't love them, but because I don't want to experience their lives through a camera. Unfortunately, this means I don't have tons of pictures.
#frf I like to eat and I hate to be hungry. I can eat my husband under the table, and I often find a way to rationalize seconds. When I go to Cafe Rio, I eat the whole freakin' salad, down to the soggy tortilla at the bottom.
#frf I can get really impatient when I'm trying to teach one of my kids something, and I'm always tempted to take over and finish it myself. I do it more than I ought to.
#frf I'm terrible at styling hair. With three daughters and a full head of hair myself, this is a problem.
#frf The last couple of years, I've gotten better at forgiveness, but I still have a real problem with being stubborn.
#frf I sleep better when my husband is away on a business trip because I get the whole bed to myself.
#frf I wish I was a better missionary. The relationship I have with the Savior is one of the most precious things in my life, and I would hope all the people I love could have one too, but I have a tough time opening my mouth and expressing that.
#frf I don't ever regret staying at home with my kids when they were younger, but sometimes I wish I could have spent some time on a career that made use of some of my other talents.
#frf I LOVE real whipped cream. If we have any whipped up and left over in the fridge, I usually eat it all. Plain.
I could go on for a while, but you get the idea. The thing is, I don't mind looking a little ridiculous, because everyone is, whether they cop to it or not. One thing I've realized since turning 40 is that I don't want to spend any more energy on things that make me unhappy. Trying to convince the world that I'm flawless falls squarely into that category. We're all much more alike than we are different and we're all in this together, so why not be genuine? For Real Friday, people. For real.
If you're interested in playing along, here's the link to the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/For-Real-Friday-791866224238267/
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